Couples and Marriage Counseling

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

John Paul Sartre stated that “It’s easy to fall in love, but it’s hard to stay there.

There are many factors that can affect relationships. We enter relationships with certain expectations.  Over time, some of these expectations will continue to be met, while other expectations might not be realized. 

Being able to communicate between partner helps create an atmosphere to facilitate each others’ ability to clarify which expectations can be met and to problem solve any discrepancies that might arise.  When this communication breaks down, people tend to focus on what’s not working and to forget to notice the efforts being made.

The issue of who is right and wrong becomes more important than the actual problem solving process. As this occurs, understanding each other’s perspective becomes limited and both partners experience invalidation.  When we feel invalidated, anger and pain are triggered.

Therapy can help: couples clarify expectations; separate past trauma from the current relationship and provide tools to increase understanding and intimacy between each other.

Neil Friedman, Santa Barbara Therapist

Neil Friedman, LCSW

I have an eclectic, holistic approach in working with people. I believe in helping people recognize and utilize their strengths to overcome any challenge they might face. In this process, we can explore any unconscious blocks that might be interfering with connecting with others and their environment to make the most of each moment. I believe that the “here and now” is where we experience life to the fullest. Along these lines, I try to help people find the balance between their emotional and reasonable minds to effectively problem solve issues to be addressed.

Please call or email me for an individual, couples or family therapy consultation today.

Neil Friedman, LCSW
123 W Padre, Ste A
Santa Barbara, CA 93105
(805) 319-0304 
[email protected]
Santa Barbara CAMFT Member

Santa Barbara Therapy


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